I'm so fucking tired today. I don't know why but I think it may have to do with not sleeping or something . . . I can't wait until it gets colder. The fall is always so much easier for me -- not having sweat glands and all.

I can also listen to my depressing music and somehow it feels cooler -- I don't know -- it's hard to describe. It kind of makes me think about living with my girlfriend. Even though the two things aren't connected -- it's just that there is something comforting in my mind about autumn, girlfiend, cold, and depressing music. It sounds as retarded as it actually is, but it doesn't change the fact that I like it -- and it kind of tickles the bottom of my heart just thinking about it.

I have to go to a birthday party tonight -- it ought to be fun, but I don't think that I can drink. I'm afraid that I'm engaging in some kind of replacement for smoking with the bottle. It totally blows because I don't even really like drinking. That's what's going to make the fall good, because I can drink wine then and I'd much rather be a wino than your regular run of the mill drunk.

Eventually I'm going to have to get a computer. Maybe J-wa can convince me to get it. Are you listening?