Find out what you'll be doing in the future:

F A M E
Name:
Youre famous for:	ODing.. twice
You get famous:	August 13, 2029
You make $$ per/year:	$533,974,003,969,719
Do people like you?	You suck.
Dead/Alive:	No one knows

I kind of want to be a ranch hand for the summer. Even though the summer is over, I feel like it would be good to actually do some work -- real, hands on work -- before I get to the point where I can't. I'm kind of hoping that when my girlfriend gets into school that she might go somewhere where it's feasible to do such a thing. Of course, it's not like working as a ranch hand will be particularly viable financially, but I could do it for a summer or something. Maybe I can get a leave from work and go and do it. I think it would be really, well, interesting to take a full month and go and work on a ranch.

Maybe I'm just being romantic about it, or something. But I think the thing that is most attractive about it to me is that it's totally different from what I'm doing now. Which is not to say that I hate what I'm doing now, but I have to say that I don't really view it as being very "real." It's definitely a living, and it's definitely challenging, but it's really kind of soul-deadening.

Holy Christ I haven't blogged in while. It's all of that stupid flash mob shit. I did one. That one in Toys R Us. Yeah, that was me among 300 other hipsters from brooklyn. I think that for most of them, it was probably most of their first time in Times Square. Not that that's a bad thing, but you know they wear it like a badge on their sleeves.

My boss is out of town for the week. It's unusually stressful. Things that I normally wouldn't have to deal with are now falling all fucking over the place. Again, this isn't a bad thing, but it does make a shitty situation to try and pick up after. Moreover, a bunch of new hires just moved into my area and they're all computer dorks. I guss I am too, but I do it because I think it's a good way to control people's minds. They do it because they believe in the motherfucking matrix and internet pornography. Did I mention that they're all poorly socialised. Oh yeah, they're all really poorly socialised. They don't say hello, and they don't laugh at remakes of G.I. Joe cartoons that have gratuitous amounts of swearing and other nonsense.

Either way, they've ruined my life.

Work has gotten stressful lately. I like it better now because it's overcast most of the day and that makes being irradiated by flourescent light all day surprisingly more tolerable. I hope that I don't get SARS.

So, we had a boss moderated chat today (me and our web designer, that is). She and I couldn't be more similar and different. Both really abrasive. She has a much shorter temper than I do (which is hard to imagine out of anyone other than a convicted felon). I'm certainly more sensitive to criticism than she is. And it didn't go especially well.

She was really abrasive and unproductive. Also very defensive. I mean, she is very driven, and I suppose that's probably a good thing for her -- but she completely lacks diplomacy. Moreover, she is totally dismissive of other people's issues (I know someone who'd find that very ironic that I'm saying that). It's far more important for her to be right than anything else. I'm that way too, but I think I get to the point where it's not worth it to fight sooner than she does. I was also far more willing to entertain the possibility of compromise than she was (which is funny to me because last week I was on the verge of taking a cold bath with the toaster, I was so fucking angry).

She's making work really unpleasant.

Okay -- today just got frustrating. I dunno why -- but it may have something to do with the sun coming out.

Oh shit. I also forgot to say that I quit smoking. Now I'm just fucking boring and have a patch on my arm. It's a sad, sad day. On the positive side, nothing tastes good to me anymore. I don't like any of the food that I used to. My appetite has decreased. My girlfriend finds me less interesting and dangerous (unless I've not shaved, then I'm even more pathetic). My lymph nodes are swollen. I constantly feel like I'm about to get sick. I don't feel like my lungs are any better. I don't have as deep of a voice. I'm not tired and disaffected all the time (which is defeating the purpose of this blog). I'm feeling left out because of cool products, like this. I'm sad because I don't always know what it's like outside. I'm no longer recognized as a person who, despite of all known knowledge to the contrary, believes that smoking cannot possibly be that bad for you. I'm also wasting as much money on fucking patches as I was on cigarettes. I'm having extraordinarily vivid dreams about bizarre things with household items that I can't manage forget (imagine that).

The moral of the story is . . . ?

So, work is surprisingly tolerable. I'm not sure what changed. I think it's because it's raining out. I'm in so much of a better mood when it's raining out that being inside is actually fun. Also, I don't feel in such complete and total oposition to my co-workers. I'm sure it also helps that I had a nice weekend, but since I keep my weekends separate from work (as much as I can) virtually every weekend is better than work (especially considering that my week is pretty much a lost cause).

Now I have to think about birthday presents. The problem with birthday presents is that no matter what you get someone, they have to pretend to like it. I could pick up spare parts at a car scrap yard and they would have to be received with a smile (after the explanation). That's what makes gift giving so tough. You have to find something that the person will really like, otherwise you have to make them pretend, and then they really hate you for putting them in that position. More than likely, they'll become passive aggressive and wish you dead -- which would be fine, had you actually known they didn't want what you gave them.