Holy shit! I did it. I bought a computer. I'm really excited. I think it's going to suck, but I'm really excited. I did it on a credit card. Holy Shit!! I'm so ready to pay this off right now. I think I'll pay for it like, in two months! That's so fucking cool! I'm going to have a computer. No nevermind. I think I'll cancel it. Or maybe not. Um, wait, here's a picture of it:



I didn't get the speakers. Or the monitor. Or the Keyboard. Or the mouse. No. I only got the true gem. Yes, the box. The box is what is beautiful. It's amazing how this can turn around a not-so-good day.

This is awesome (click on it):

"You see, I keep thinking that what we need is a new language. Some kind of language between people that is a new kind of poetry. And I think that in order to create that language you're going to have learn how you can go through a looking glass into another kind of perception where you have the sense of being untied to all things. Then suddenly, you understand everything." -- DJ Food

Case in point . . . why do musicians say such ridiculous things?

I was talking to my friend the other night about how he had recently become an atheist -- advanced past the state of agnosticism into the realm of complete disbelief. He said that it had been a lecture by a visiting professor arguing for God and first principals that had convinced him that he was right in thinking that God does not exist. For some reason, this conversation really reminded me that things really move very very slowly (socially). Historically speaking, it was only recently that slavery was considered wrong, that it was possible to say publically that you don't believe in god without being imprisoned or killed, or even the emphasis on science as understanding prior to using magic or mysticism as a means of explanation for bizarre events. I guess, that could be construed as being very insulting to those who do believe in God (i.e. eventually your superstition will be rendered obsolete by social progress), however just based on the most cursory look at where we're headed as a species, it really looks like it's away from these archaic belief structures that depend so heavily on faith. That's not to say that I don't rely on them daily, though . . .

Thankfully, everything has sorted itself out and I can return to the general malaise that is working. Although it is interesting to be involved in a workplace scuffle, I can say that it's much more interesting to watch them.

I feel like a battered sheep. I'm feeling better, but honestly, one of my co-workers is worse than an abusive parent/child in the way s/he chooses to deal with her frustration and/or anger. For these reason, I've complied a "Why getting yelled at in the workplace by an abusive co-worker who acts like an abusive parent is infinitely worse than being yelled at by an abusive parent" list:

Why getting yelled at in the workplace is infinitely worse than being yelled at home:
1. Because defending yourself is inappropriate because no one should be yelling at you in the first place.
2. Because yelling back is stupid and inappropriate.
3.Calling someone out as being an asshole is just as stupid as yelling
4. Actually getting upset about it shows how petty you are
5. Indicating that anyone's opinion really matters to you is a sign of weakness and is wholly Un-American
6. Allowing yourself to get out of control with an asshole co-worker is similar to leaving a burning bag of shit on your next-door neighbors door step when you live in an apartment building.
7. Going through the proper routes is aggravating, seemingly pointless, and completely humiliating.
8. Few actually understand any of the above until they actually go through it.
9. At least you can run away from your parents and get a job if your family sucks. If your job sucks, you may have to run away and go live with your family.

All in all, I have to say that I never expected that I would be doing what I do for a living. I fantasized that I would be paid to think -- that I wouldn't have co-workers, and I would be in demand and would be appreciated. I feel like some of that is true, but ultimately, this wholefucking work thing has turned out to be totally fucking lame and nothing like what I wanted.

A friend of mine wrote a review for Cabin Fever. Read his review and I think you'll understand.

In case you missed Log Jammin' the movie, here is an excerpt. For some reason I'm on a Big Lebowski kick today. My apologies.

My blog is fucked. It's publishing endlessly. Story of my life. -- either way, I thought my blog needed a picture. I've found one:

So I saw Cabin Fever last night. This was the shittiest movie ever. That said, it was funny. But that doesn't negate the fact that it was utter shit. It varied between soft-core porn, extreme graphic violence, mystifying dialogue, and rediculous plot developments -- so much so, that it was very possible that the director realised during editing that the movie was funnier than it was scary and opted to go in that direction. This may have, in fact, made it funnier. Either way, it's still crap and I don't recommend seeing it while sober. End of story.

So I have nothing to do today. Other than wait for things to do. It's funny how my work comes in spurts like that. I feel like I would be remiss if i didn't ask for more, but then it would be hard to garner sympathy from anyone if I had asked for it.

Oh yeah, and there is this fucking hurricane that's going to make all of our lives suck. I don't want one to two inches of rain. That'll make my walk home from work really really crappy -- although on the positive side, it may force my girlfriend to spend the night with me.

I just bought Ugly Duckling's first CD. It seems like it'll be good. You can see for yourself here.

I'm so fucking tired today. I don't know why but I think it may have to do with not sleeping or something . . . I can't wait until it gets colder. The fall is always so much easier for me -- not having sweat glands and all.

I can also listen to my depressing music and somehow it feels cooler -- I don't know -- it's hard to describe. It kind of makes me think about living with my girlfriend. Even though the two things aren't connected -- it's just that there is something comforting in my mind about autumn, girlfiend, cold, and depressing music. It sounds as retarded as it actually is, but it doesn't change the fact that I like it -- and it kind of tickles the bottom of my heart just thinking about it.

I have to go to a birthday party tonight -- it ought to be fun, but I don't think that I can drink. I'm afraid that I'm engaging in some kind of replacement for smoking with the bottle. It totally blows because I don't even really like drinking. That's what's going to make the fall good, because I can drink wine then and I'd much rather be a wino than your regular run of the mill drunk.

Eventually I'm going to have to get a computer. Maybe J-wa can convince me to get it. Are you listening?

I was reading this shoddy anti-feminist column on Fox News about the merits of legislation protecting prisoners (of both sexes) from rape, titled "Confronting Prison Rape." Don't ask me why I read Fox News -- I think it's because I like to get angry. In any case, there was this line towards the end of the column:

"Thus, it was the "anti-feminist" Concerned Women for America, and not NOW, who lobbied for the Prison Rape Elimination Act."

And then the article goes on to lambaste NOW for defending the rights of the female victims of rape and not the male victims, as well as defining rape as a gender crime and its victims as females.

To be clear, NOW is an organization for women. It defends the rights, or what its members believe to be the rights, of women. As we all now know, rape is a crime of power, and most often it is a crime of men against women, right? When men rape other men, it is also a crime of power in a similar way as it is with women. It is wrong both places, but it isn't the job of NOW (the National Organization for Women) to defend male prisoners against rape, is it?

Basically, this is the job of every member of society. In fact, it's completely insane that in any civilized society that it should be necessary to create a specific law against prison rape -- this should be intuitive. Simply because NOW doesn't act on this issue doesn't make them some kind of pariah: it's pretty clear who their constituency is.

Ultimately, the most chilling thing in the article is how transparent the agenda is in the article. If find it quite depressing that a group of "ifeminists" can only find a raison d'etre in juxtaposing themselves to an organization that has a proven track record of making things better for women in this country. The saddest thing is that, what was an enraging article about a horrifying injustice ended up being only a covenient vessel by which the author could espouse her dislike for NOW.

Another injustice for the victims of prison rape, I suppose.

Holy fuck -- I'm such a wasteoid. I've quit smoking and I'm even lazier than I was before. Fuck me. My job is also incredibly oppressive. Not to say that I mind -- because, really, who minds? But nevertheless -- it is hard to write about your job being hellacious while it is hellacious. Especially considering that the last thing I want to do when I get home is talk about my job.

Since we last spoke, John Ritter died from an undetected heart valve defect, Johnny Cash died of complications from diabetes, Venus and Serena Williams' Sister was shot to death, Sweden's FM Lindh was stabbed to death, Warren Zevon succumed to Lung Cancer, a pizza man with a bomb attached to his head exploded, Mahmoud Abbas quit as Palestinian PM, and, uh, what else. Yeah, it wasn't really a good ten days. So I think I have excuses.

The popularity of blogs has exploded, but I think mine may have exploded down the shitter 'cause I don't think anyone reads this other than me. Which is fine, I guess, but then doesn't it qualify more as a journal and not a blog? Maybe I should market it . . . eh? That's sad -- see, now my job has entered into my personal life. I'm totally screwed.

So I haven't posted in a while. This mainly because my job has taken my life and flushed it down the toilet. I have no life. No time to do anything. Of course, one day I'll have piles of money, while those of you who are enjoying your lives now will be living in trailers on the other side of town from my gigantic house which will be filled with sorrow and emptiness because I will have sold all that is truly valuable in life to the capitalist dogs that feast on the innards of the working class.

That said, I've quit smoking. I'm on the patch. It worked only because I had strep when I started. Now I don't have strep and I realise how much I loved smoking. The patch doesn't work for that; it doesn't cure the love. Now, horror of horrors, smoking doesn't taste good. It doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't taste as wonderful as it did. That's sad.

Thankfully, I can think better (probably because of all that excess oxygen). In a sense, though, I was helping out those with less oxygen when I was a smoker because I didn't breath as much of it. Not smoking sucks as much as smoking -- just in different ways.